Postcards from Nowhere

Inseparable

2011-03-28T15:15:00.000+05:30

When she came to the earth with a wail,

they were with her, shy and hesitant, barely evident.

As she grew from a child to a woman,

their camaraderie only became better.

They danced with her in her joy and

drowned her sorrows and misery.

They flashed in her anger and

flowed even she deemed them unwanted.

They clouded her defeats and

gleamed in her triumph.

And, at last, when she lay cold as a marble, they rested

on her cheek like a lingering warm kiss of a loved one.

Summer Time Traditions

2011-03-09T13:06:00.001+05:30

Early this morning, feeling too warm, as I sleepily pushed away the blanket, I realized that the summer had arrived. The day time temperatures have been crossing the 30 degree mark and the Bangalorean in me has started protesting. To counter the depression that the summer heat brings in me, I started to think about all the good things summer had to offer in the past.

Most of the summers until I finished college were spent traveling. I remember we used to pack our bags as soon as the holidays set in and go to our grandparents’ place. My grandparents used to live with my aunt and since she worked in a bank, they changed location every few years. I have vivid memories of these places.

In Chitradurga, their house was near a temple. There was a huge tree in front of their house. During the day, it looked like the tree had large floppy leaves. In the night, these floppy leaves would turn into bats and create such a racket that would keep one awake all night. The house that my grandparents stayed had a quaint wooden staircase which would lead to an attic room. Sleeping there and listening to the bats move around in the moonlit nights must have brought many a shiver. But, my sister and I were adventurous souls then and quite enjoyed these nights.

The most exciting part of traveling to Dharmavaram was the journey itself. We used to leave early in the morning by train and reach by noon. The train used to have a steam engine and our faces and hair used to be speckled with bits of coal. The Comics and the continuous ‘spread’ that we got on the train in the form of ‘totapuri’ mango, bhel puri, masala vada and other snacks just made it perfect. Dharmavaram, being the lesser known sister of Kanjeevaram, we always came back with silk paavadai. At one time, am pretty sure my sister and I had a collection that could compete with Rekha’s Kanjeevaram collection!

The places changed, but a major part of our holidays were always at our grandparents’ house. And, invariably, we had to visit all the relatives around. The open drains, the unhygienic toilets, the sweltering heat, the endless swarm of mosquitoes and flies, traveling by those red buses… I had lots to complain about. But somehow we always ended up having a good time. My sister and I learnt to read Telugu, so that we could kill time during these holidays. And all the mindless masala entertainers we watched for less than 10 bucks. My sister would stand in the ladies queue, push and shove and procure the tickets. As for me, I disliked crowds and would stand afar with abject disapproval on my face. ‘Goli’ Soda and some greasy snack would complete the experience for my sister. The city girl that I was, I wouldn’t touch any of those (some things never change).

Other than these holidays, we as a family have traveled over most of South India. No matter what the mode of transport, I had to get the window seat. My argument was flawless – I deserved it. Luxurious, these trips were not (which was my constant complaint – by now, am sure you know that I grumpy grouchy child – one more pain that my parents had to deal with in addition to other travel woes), but, in hindsight, perhaps, this is where I caught the travel bug.

To talk about summer and not talk about the king of fruits is stupidity. Mangoes dominated our summers. We used to have them almost every day at my grandparents’ house. And when we used to visit our uncles and aunts in Hyderabad, it was a different experience altogether. Almost every house had a mango tree. So, we used to climb and pluck the mangoes ourselves. And if it is the mango season, just like the ‘avarekalu’ season in Bangalore, there, every dish had some form of mango in it. So, it was mango puree with chapattis, raw mango in the dal and the chutney and the best of all, the yummy “avakkai” pickle. Sigh, just writing this is making me want mangoes. Even now, my uncle sends at least a carton of mangoes every summer. When I am at home, a plate of sliced mangoes appears next to me at regular intervals. Love my parents for that! My sister, unlike me, hates slicing her mango or sharing her mango. It has to be eaten whole and in a messy way.

Not to forget the ‘totapuri’ mango, a staple during summer days. Bangalore summers are incomplete without the April showers. Walking down MG road (of course, in my memory, the road is much less crowded) after one of these drizzles eating the mango bhel is something which I love doing.

With the fan whirring above me, as I wipe the imaginary sweat that has formed on my brow, I look forward to the new summer tradition that has been set for the past few years. As we used to spend the holidays with our grandparents, my angels spend their holidays with their grandparents every summer. And that is something that my parents and I look forward to eagerly. My mother begins her preparations as early as winter, buying toys, knick knacks and other things for them. My sister and I share a special bond. The petty fights, the nightlong discussions, the gossip, the home improvement schemes, the travel – there are so many things that make her visits special. And what can I say about my angels – their endless prattle, exuberance and antics just make each day magical. All the chaos that they create evokes an inexplicable sense of peace in me. Oh, to be a child again…

Time to welcome the season and celebrate all the wonderful traditions that the summer brings with it.

What can I say?

2010-11-25T12:36:00.000+05:30

Well, what can I say? I have failed to keep the promise I made to myself... yet again. It's not that I don't have anything to write about. For instance, back in August, I wanted to chronicle my travel experiences in Ladakh. And more recently, I wanted to write about my experiences and interactions with the suburban life in Mumbai.

But... yes, the "but" is the culprit! But, whenever I try to collect my thoughts, my mind just plays this dirty trick on me and one of these trains of thoughts take over - (Blank), (Black), (Kaboom!), (How do I exchange the peanuts I get for the almonds I want?), (Blank), (Blank), (Aaaaargggghhh!!), (Black), (Black), (Documents, Spreadsheets, PPTs or whatever I am working on at the moment), (Aaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhh!!), (Black), (Blank), (Black), (Kaboom!)... well, you get the gist...

So, no promises this time... I am making sincere efforts to clear up the clutter in my mind; maybe this is just a phase and it shall pass, there is still hope for me... or so I think... (Blank)

Hello Again

2010-09-15T12:33:00.002+05:30

Barney recently commented that it's been more than a year since I have written anything on the blog; a sad but true fact. Although he mentioned a rather interesting reason for me not being prolific, the reason that I had given Shruthi when she had said that I should write more often - that "I am a constant contemplator, and a chronic procrastinator which makes me a casual writer" still holds true.

So rather than rue the fact that I have not written enough in the last one year,I will go ahead and list some of the milestones from my life during that time, which may have kept me busy...

1) Spent endless hours of working (paapi pet ka sawaal hai)
2) Learnt a new language (bonne journée, mes chers amis!)
3) Did a fair amount of traveling - Since last July, I have been to Coorg, Waynad, Skandagiri, Srilanka, Mumbai, Elephanta Caves, the beaches of Maharashtra (Dive Agar, Sriwardhan, Harihareshwar), Pondichery, Singapore, Agumbe, Bhadra Reservoir and last but not the least, Ladakh! (Woot! My life is indeed a "picnic" :))
4) Saw a tiger in the wild (yes! yes! yes! :))
5) Trekked in Ladakh (deserves a repeat and special mention)
6) Spent quality time with my angels
7) Made up with some old friends
8) Made some new friends and hopefully lasting friendships
9) Had a ball catching up with friends
10) Played matchmaker with some unexpected results :-/
11) Did some portfolios in the sun and some in the dark :)
12) Got some new possessions :)
13) Learning to live again...

Hmmm, no wonder I have not been able to find time to write. :) But to make amends, am back with a promise to myself that I will write at least two posts a month.

So, until next week or the next blog post, whichever comes first, au revoir and keep smiling!

P for? Plenty...Phew

2009-08-17T11:40:00.000+05:30

Maanasi tagged me to do this post. She was already a master at lists, and all this tagging business is only helping her do a doctorate in that. Maybe you should consider that, Maanu!

The RULE is that all the questions have to be answered with the first letter of my name. Since I am a Gemini, I am doing it in twos. :-) :-)

1. What is your name: Passionate Poornima and Pretty Poorni (the full moon and the half moon)
2. A four Letter Word: Play/Purr
3. A boy’s Name: Purushottama Rama/ Prince Charming
4. A girl’s Name: Pativrata Sita/ Princess Consuella Banana-hammock
(Puttappa and Puttamma from Puttenahalli are a close third)
5. An occupation: Playwright/ Poet
6. A colour: Purple/Periwinkle
7. Something you wear: Pride/Pashmina
8. Food: Pongal/Puliyogare (can’t help – I am a total South Indian when it comes to food :-))
9. Something found in the bathroom: Perfume/Potty
10. A place: Paradise Island /Paris (since am learning French)
11. A reason for being late: Procrastination/Phantasy
2. Something you shout: Phuck/Phrigging
13. A movie title: Pather Panchali/ Pallavi Anu Pallavi
14. Something you drink: Pure water/ Pinot noir
15. A musical group: Philharmonic Orchestra/ Piano quartet
16. An animal: Panther/Puma (also happens to be one of my nicknames)
17. A street name: Park Avenue/ Palace Road
18. A type of car: Porsche / Prius
19. Something scary: Perverts and Psychos
20. Ice cream flavour: Praline cashew/Pistachio almond

I am wondering if I should tag anyone at all. Those who actually do something about the tags (Maanu, Shruthi, Megan ) have already been tagged. Okay, I will tag Kalpu and Pooja and Madduri for this one.

The Journey

2009-07-22T01:03:00.000+05:30

Satchel of blood and mass
Bundle of innocence
Sprinkle of tears
Sparkle of laughter
Bushel of emotions
Shackle of expectations
Bubble of dreams
Foible of passions
Tangle of relations
Fuel of ambition
Shuffle of fortunes
Scuffle for glory
Scuttle to win
Bridle of scruples
Boodle of possessions
Struggle for sanity
Wobble of age
Rubble of cinder and ash
Shovel of dirt

The oddball in me

2009-07-14T14:54:00.000+05:30

Recently, Maanu, at the behest of her friend Shruthi, listed weird facts about herself on her blog. That got me thinking about the weird side of me. The outcome was something which would have given Sigmund Freud a field day at psychoanalysis. So, I present the bizarre me without further ado. I am not sure, how long this list will be, but I will try to keep it short with a disclaimer that this list is just a glimpse and is neither extensive nor exhaustive, and that there is more to me than meets the eye. I also vouch to the best of my knowledge that none of this is made up.

The Sneak Peek

1. The superstition - When I wake up, the first thing I do is to look at my hands. There is a shloka in Sanskrit, which says that God exists in our hands. The second thing I do is to look at myself in the mirror. This is so that I do not give credit to or curse someone else other than me if my day goes good or bad, especially the latter.
2. Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde – People usually perceive me as chirpy, energetic and ever-smiling. At the other extreme, people also perceive me worried, lost and sad. So, which person have you met?
3. The Memento – With some things, my memory can be almost photographic. I can recall each and every detail accurately for years on end. While with other things (my college subjects belong to this category) I have a short term memory loss which seems to be incurable.
4. While you were sleeping – My most creative and wonderful thoughts come to me when I am half asleep; from the time my head hits the pillow to the time my sleep reaches the REM phase. I always have a book and pen handy to jot down these thoughts.
5. Shall we dance? – is not a question you will hear me asking. I have two left feet which are cemented to the ground. Although, I have been told that I do shake a leg when I down a couple of drinks, but then, I would not believe in hearsay.

The Spook Peek

6. In Gulliver’s shoes - For a long while now, whenever I close my eyes, even for a moment, I get this shrinking feeling, and I can see a dwarfed image of myself in a gigantic setting. Initially, it used to scare the hell out of me, but now, I have got used to it.
7. Multi-legged freaks - When I open my eyes after a sleeping spell, I see multicolored multi-legged creatures of varied sizes disappearing into the nooks of the roof.
8. Requiem for a dream – If I were to make a living selling my dreams, I would have given Stephen King and the ilk a run for their money. My dreams are bizarre, horrific, and a complete scare fest. From psychopaths, to zombies to you name it – they are all a part of my dreams.
9. Death and Me – I do not care about death, nor am I scared. I do not wish for it, nor do I wish to run away from it.

The Revelation

10. The good girl - And finally, one weird fact about me, which has stumped even the closest of my friends – I am a nice person, by choice. I have been anointed a saint and labeled a walkover and few other unprintable monikers. But that’s me. And all those non-believers and naysayers, either you have not met me or you don’t know me. :-) I can almost see the pop-psychologists rubbing their hands in glee.

P.S. I thought of including my surname, “the bane” as one of the weird facts, but I was worried that my parents may sue me for libel. That reminds me, one more weird thing about me... oh well, never mind, I promised to keep the list short.

Random thoughts from the lost lane

2009-06-19T00:00:00.000+05:30

It has been a quiet couple of months here... No postcards from Nowhere. The adage goes that no news is good news. I wish that was the case in this instance. The last couple of months have been rather eventful, continuing the trend in my life. And a lot of thoughts, decisions, misgivings associated with the events present and past. A personal blog such as this can be like an exhibitionist's diary, yet I felt a certain reluctance to share those thoughts... that's a thought train in itself, the reluctance to share unhappy thoughts and the general apathy towards such thoughts, both by the person who is experiencing unhappiness and the person who becomes privy to such thoughts; but that is another topic for another day.

I sit with the pen poised in my hand,
to weave my thoughts into a strand.
Aimlessly, in my mind, they flit around,
frothy, poignant, inane and profound.
The page is blank, the thoughts fail to unfurl,
their beauty unseen, like that of a hidden pearl.

The Number Game

2009-04-23T23:30:00.000+05:30

My friend, Shruthi has tagged me to complete this number game. The relevance of the numbers 1-10 in my life. Her objective, to make me write more! My objective, none, to be frank. This should be done in a jiffy.

1: The number of lives I have as I am not a cat; although having had generations of cats in my house has made me quite feline… wondering if I should jump off the roof to see if I survive. Also my lifeline and reality check – my dear sister. She advised me against jumping off the roof, God bless her.

2: My Angels, my brats, the 2 topics I never tire of, the 2 reasons I smile, the 2 people who mean everything to me – my niece and nephew! Incidentally, they happen to be of ages (2 +2) and 2. Also the two people responsible for my existence; my support system and constant naggers - my parents

3: The number of times I have been bitten by the love bug, of course discounting my imaginary love and my “first love” (I am not referring to KK or my imaginary love). I think I will settle with my imaginary love. That love affair has always been awesome. Also the number of times I have stepped out of India; a woefully small number which I will definitely remedy in the next few years.

4: The age I realized I was born to be special and gifted. See, how smart I was – it took me four long years to realize a basic fact! Also the time I am writing this post (AM, not PM) – an indication that the aforesaid train of thought was well thought out.

5: The month I was born, (yippee, makes me a Gemini – for the nth time, I am not two-faced!). The number of years I wasted studying Science! It was never my cup of tea :-(. And the number of years it might take to complete the doctoral program if I do enroll myself into one (still in consideration – what say, you guys? Should I take the plunge?). Also my shoe size, and if you add a couple of inches, my height.

6: The number of jobs I have changed in my 7 years of career. No, I am not an opportunistic job hopper, far from it; there are a couple of short stints which have hiked up the number. Also happens to be the number of months I have been out of the professional circuit. Eager to get back in the race. To this effect, I have even created a must-see professional resume – Poornima’s Fact File.

7: The year I was born has this number. And, no, it is not 2007, am a little older than that. The number of years I have worked so far. Also, I am told, the number of days in a week. Honestly, is one day any different than the other??

8: The number of years since I… Also the number of people… nah, you go figure… Moreover, not sure if it is 8 or 9, am a little confused! And the number of letters in my name. Just my first name, not my surname, I don't know how to count that far.

9: The number my birthday (date alone) adds up to. Also, more or less, the number of treks/hikes I have been on so far. Planning one in the Himalayas in the next couple of months (Should make it happen - have been planning for the last couple of years without having implemented it!). Are we still on, K? Anyone else who would like to join?

10: The number of years since I finished my graduation, a little more actually. Ooops, did I just reveal my age?! I fret not because it will add to my wrinkles. Not to mention my grey hair count. Plus, I believe age is after all a number. This will be the 10th post on my blog! Considering the fact that I started the blog two years ago, does not speak much for post-rate. My only excuse is that I was in hibernation for almost two years after I started my blog, and the good thing is this is the fifth post this month alone! Thanks, Shruthi, for spurring me on. Also, the number of times I have used the word “Also” (excluding this) in this post.

In addition, I am listing things/people in my life to which I cannot attach a number to (because they vary, too many to count).

Few: Friends (both old and new) who have stood by me through thick and thin. And, some friends who have become strangers now. And then some, who never deserved to be my friends.

Many: Troubles that life has thrown my way. And all the blessings and prayers that have made me strong.

Well, that’s it. Wow, this took a lot more thinking than I anticipated! Almost reads like my memoir; without too much detail, of course. I don’t want to be sued for libel and I am saving the content for my best-seller book. :-D

My turn to tag:

Megan: I am sure she has learnt the art of lists from her sister by now. Go for it, Meg I.
Kunal: I am curious to know what he will say, am sure he will make it witty. And, it’s high time he updated his blog.
Malz aka Mia: I am sure she will have something interesting to say. Time to start a blog, Malz.
K: Hoping that I will be able to match some things on her list (if she includes them), like sky-diving, flying a plane or globetrotting.
Tej: She always has something interesting and witty to say. Even when she is having a serious conversation! Where is your blog, girl?!

Just a thought

2009-04-23T09:55:00.000+05:30

I thought this is an appropriate post on occasion of Earth Day, which just passed by, and the cartoon I found on the internet (courtesy caglecartoons.com) sums it up rather neatly. The poem, of course is by me. :-)

The Lonely Traveler

2009-04-21T02:01:00.000+05:30

I had put up this photo on my Facebook profile and my dearest friend Mia thought that this photograph deserves a poem. And, how could I refuse her wish. So, this one is for you, Mia. Oh, btw, the photograph was taken by another friend of mine, K.R, so any praise for the photograph should go to her.

I walk alone through the untrodden paths

Beholding the sights that beckon me

Drawn to them like the earth to the sky

I seek no other pleasure or company

The paths I tread are my only destiny

Lead me to my destination, the endless horizons

Happiness

2009-04-17T15:31:00.000+05:30

How do I treasure an emotion so fragile?
The harder I try, the more I seem to fail
I bring my lips into a semblance of a smile
My eyes betray the shadow of the tear trail.

Update from Nowhere

2009-04-11T08:05:00.000+05:30

I am back. For those of you who care and have been wondering whether I had fallen off the face of the earth, I can say that I came close to that. I will save the yawn-inducing, tongue-wagging, shoulder-shrugging, eye-popping or mind-boggling (depending on your level of interest and curiosity) details of my oh-so eventful life and just say that I have been there, done that and now I am back to square one. Or maybe, I belong to a different demographic now. At this moment, I don’t know and I don’t care. For those of you who know what I am talking about and believe that I will bounce back, thank you all for your support and encouragement.

And to answer the question whether I have bounced back, all I can say is I am trying my best. I am like a yo-yo that has gone bad, down most days and coming up once in a while. Today is one of those days and the reason for this post, to talk about two special people in my life, who without their knowledge and without even trying have kept me afloat. And for their presence in my life, I thank God and maybe even forgive Him for everything else that should not have been.

My Angels

When I am defeated and question the meaning of life,
your guileless words make it seem so profound.
When I am in doubt and wonder if there is truth,
your adorable gestures make me want to believe.
When I am heartbroken and deny the beauty of love,
your warm hugs show me the essence of true love
When I am weak and ready to give up the fight,
your honest vulnerability gives me strength.
When I am scared and unable to conquer the fear,
your uninhibited smiles bring me hope and cheer.
When I am dejected and my soul needs to heal,
my dear angels, you prove to be my only elixir.
Things may come and things may go in this uncertain world,
but will there be anything more pure than a child’s innocent love?

The Dream

2007-05-23T23:57:00.000+05:30

It was a splash of color in the morning light
Vibrant, bright hued, and effervescent
Flitting around from here to there
Dancing to the song of life without a care
It seemed to be aiming to the sky
Look at me, it seemed to say
I am happy, I am gay

There it was in the twilight
Strangely aimless and lost
The bright colors seemed a farce
Gone were the song and the dance
As it bobbed up and down in the wind
Downward bound it fell at the feet
For alas it was just a broken wing

...?

2007-04-28T21:53:00.000+05:30

My mind loves to wander;
my soul knows no surrender;
my heart is its own master;
yet, I am bound in fetters
by the enigma called life.

The Stranger

2007-04-15T20:33:00.000+05:30

Ever felt like a stranger to your own emotions? Imagine coming across a reflection of yours, your lips curved into a smile… and you feel like you are looking at a picture a person who seems just vaguely familiar… or a tear flowing down your cheek goes unchecked because you didn’t even realize you were crying…

Ever felt like a stranger to your emotions because deep within, you feel so numb that nothing seems to affect you… ever felt the feeling of not feeling something?
When I was going through one such moments of reflection, I came across this ghazal written by Firaq Ghorakhpuri which seemed to resonate with my thoughts completely…

I have penned down the ghazal and my interpretation…

ye to nahii.n ke Gam nahii.n
haa.N merii aa.Nkh nam nahii.n
Sadness engulfs me, I don’t deny
And yet, my eyes remain dry

tum bhii to tum nahii.n ho aaj
ham bhii to aaj ham nahii.n
You are no longer yourself
Nor have I remained as I

ab na Khushii kii hai Khushii
Gam kaa bhii ab to Gam nahii.n
No pleasure makes me glad now
And no sorrow makes me cry

maut agarche maut hai
maut se ziist kam nahii.n
Although there is no void like death
Life itself makes me wish I die

Pecking Order :-)

2007-04-04T20:50:00.000+05:30

A spider climbed the wall
‘Oh,’ thought the ant, ‘what gall!
Just because he has so many legs,
he treats us like bloody dregs!!’

The lizard crept up the wall
‘Oh,’ thought the spider, ‘what gall!
Just because he is a reptile,
he comes and cramps my style!!’

When he heard the cat’s lazy drawl
‘Oh,’ thought the lizard, ‘what gall!
Just because he is big and sly,
I have to scamper to a nook so high!!’

When he saw the dog ready for a brawl
‘Oh,’ thought the cat, ‘what gall!
Just because he can howl and bark
I can’t even enjoy my lark!!’

When he heard the man call
‘Oh,’ thought the dog, ‘what gall!
Just because he can walk on his hind,
he makes us run and do the grind!!’

The man thought, ‘I rule them all!’
‘Oh,’ thought He, amused, ‘what gall!
Someday each of you will perish,
when and how is purely my wish!!’

(The first stanza is courtesy my friend, Meghna.)

Today is Special...

2007-04-02T21:13:00.000+05:30

Today is special…
Because it comes with the reflection of yesterday;
of feats achieved and lessons learnt,
of memories made and dreams realized.

Today is special…
Because it comes with the promise of tomorrow;
of challenges to face and words to keep,
of hopes to build and dreams to fulfill.

Today is special…
Because this is the moment that is alive and real;
The eternal moment when the promise
unfolds before it becomes a memory.

Today is special…
Because it is the reason to celebrate ‘You’;
For you are someone’s memory,
someone’s reality and someone’s dream.